In 2022, I thought a lot about quitting faster

Published on 21 December 2022

A good job is when what you want to achieve overlaps with the strategic direction of the company. When it overlaps, you both benefit. When it doesn’t, you’re on a path to frustration and burn out.

I’m tired. I’ve worked too hard, campaigning for change, persuading, convincing, prototyping, showing by doing, often making up for other people’s shortcomings. 

So why do I keep doing it?

Because I believe in what I do. I love my job.

But my experience this year has made me question whether I can do this anymore.

I quit my last job because I realised I was working my fingers to the bone for a company that wasn't willing to enable or commit to the direction they'd set. They didn't make the tough choices needed to make their strategy real.

So maybe I’m tired, not because I’m working too hard, but because of the endless resistance to change.

If a company doesn’t want to change, why does it set out on a transformation?

Ego? Keeping up appearances? It didn’t realise how hard it would be? Some leaders want it, but some leaders don’t?

Whatever the reason, you can’t do a transformation half-heartedly. Everyone’s work becomes impossible, you’re stuck half in the old and half in the new, and no one wins.

I should have taken the red flags seriously earlier than I did. 

When there’s a restructure, and conflicts between teams aren’t mediated or tackled. When there’s a new strategy, but teams aren’t funded to enable them to deliver. When new functions are formed, but they're not afforded the conditions to succeed. When the exec is aware of bullying from senior leadership, but it gets brushed under the carpet. When bad things happen and you're told to assume positive intent. 

I probably should have left each time.

I chose to believe transformation could happen. I chose to be hopeful.

I was influencing my way to change. We achieved some really significant things, and in many ways got further than we ever expected. But without the conditions and support from senior leaders, it was unsustainable.

Eventually I left. And I need to make sure I don’t make the same mistake again.

If a company’s actions repeatedly misalign with the direction they’ve set, there’s a problem. That’s a very hard problem to solve, especially if you’re not on the exec or the board. No amount of working harder or smarter can fix it.

My desire for change was bigger than the reality of the company’s ambition.

Next time I’ll quit faster.