["Ready? Play."]
* Denotes server.
World* 0 – 0 Covid
Here we go again.
Gotta beat Covid this year.
Stay at home, people!
World* 15 – 0 Covid
Laters, Trumpy Boi!
Biden is in the White House.
Hip hip hooray. Woo!
World* 30 – 0 Covid
[“ACE!”]
World* 40 – 0 Covid
I have got a text
From the vaccination place.
My appointment's now.
World 1 – 0 Covid
["World leads by 1 game to love, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout to receive a jab."]
[A short time later: "Time. Covid to serve."]
World 0 – 0 *Covid
Look out for my friends
From India and SA.
They are just like me.
World 0 – 15 *Covid
What did I tell you?
My friends are running around
And making their mark.
World 15 – 15 *Covid
Not so fast, Covid.
My first jab is kicking in.
I'm a bit safer.
World 30 – 15 *Covid
Football crowds are back.
Folks are watching tennis, too,
All nicely spaced out.
World 30 – 30 *Covid
Numbers are rising.
June 21's a no-go.
The rules will not change.
World 40 – 30 *Covid
The death rate's down, though.
I can go to friends' homes and
Stay there overnight.
World 2 – 0 Covid
["Game, World. World leads by 2 games to love, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout, to receive a second jab."]
[A short time later: “Time. World to serve.”]
World* 0 – 0 Covid
[Let, first service.”]
[“Fault!”]
[“Fault!”]
World* 0 – 15 Covid
No one knows the rules!
Go and join your PM at
The Downing Street do.
World* 0 – 30 Covid
Or how about a
Ride to Barnard Castle, to
Test out your new specs?
World* 0 – 40 Covid
Oh and by the way,
I have a new boyfriend. His
Name is Omicron.
World 2 – 1 Covid
[“Game, Covid.”]
World 15 – 0 *Covid
You don’t scare me, pal.
I’ve just ordered a pack of
lateral flow tests.
World 30 – 0 *Covid
Check out my new mask.
I can wear this bad boy when
I go out shopping.
World 40 – 0 *Covid
I know the rules, thanks –
I have been following them
To the letter, mate.
World 3 – 1 Covid
[Game, World. World leads by 3 games to 1, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout to receive a booster jab.”]
To be continued.
This essay is featured in our 2020-2024 book. You can buy it in the shop.
["Ready? Play."]
* Denotes server.
World* 0 – 0 Covid
Here we go again.
Gotta beat Covid this year.
Stay at home, people!
World* 15 – 0 Covid
Laters, Trumpy Boi!
Biden is in the White House.
Hip hip hooray. Woo!
World* 30 – 0 Covid
[“ACE!”]
World* 40 – 0 Covid
I have got a text
From the vaccination place.
My appointment's now.
World 1 – 0 Covid
["World leads by 1 game to love, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout to receive a jab."]
[A short time later: "Time. Covid to serve."]
World 0 – 0 *Covid
Look out for my friends
From India and SA.
They are just like me.
World 0 – 15 *Covid
What did I tell you?
My friends are running around
And making their mark.
World 15 – 15 *Covid
Not so fast, Covid.
My first jab is kicking in.
I'm a bit safer.
World 30 – 15 *Covid
Football crowds are back.
Folks are watching tennis, too,
All nicely spaced out.
World 30 – 30 *Covid
Numbers are rising.
June 21's a no-go.
The rules will not change.
World 40 – 30 *Covid
The death rate's down, though.
I can go to friends' homes and
Stay there overnight.
World 2 – 0 Covid
["Game, World. World leads by 2 games to love, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout, to receive a second jab."]
[A short time later: “Time. World to serve.”]
World* 0 – 0 Covid
[Let, first service.”]
[“Fault!”]
[“Fault!”]
World* 0 – 15 Covid
No one knows the rules!
Go and join your PM at
The Downing Street do.
World* 0 – 30 Covid
Or how about a
Ride to Barnard Castle, to
Test out your new specs?
World* 0 – 40 Covid
Oh and by the way,
I have a new boyfriend. His
Name is Omicron.
World 2 – 1 Covid
[“Game, Covid.”]
World 15 – 0 *Covid
You don’t scare me, pal.
I’ve just ordered a pack of
lateral flow tests.
World 30 – 0 *Covid
Check out my new mask.
I can wear this bad boy when
I go out shopping.
World 40 – 0 *Covid
I know the rules, thanks –
I have been following them
To the letter, mate.
World 3 – 1 Covid
[Game, World. World leads by 3 games to 1, first set. Ladies and gentlemen, World is taking a medical timeout to receive a booster jab.”]
To be continued.
This is the first one!
Published tomorrow!